flybaby

if i were to fly, i'd want him to be my stewardess. he makes me feel safe and very straight

oh jane

so i guess jane fonda's really bored and in need of attention. she's decided to 'come out', all of a sudden, about an eating disorder she's been battling with for years. dumb commie bitch! who gives a fuck if she purged after all those award show banquets?! i plan on following this story to the end so as to poke fun at her the whole way

?epiphany?

car rides

i guess it was somewhere between emptying my mother's insulin vials and refilling them with watered down urine and carving the names of my favorite joan of arcadia characters into my thigh that it hit me- now is the perfect time for me to start that cult i've been thinking about for the past few years that will also lead to a revolution of sorts. yes. that's the ticket. a cult....

idiocy

funny shit- barnes is being sued by a woman who gave birth to a stillborn (not the funny part) and decided to say one last goodbye the following day before the mini corpse was shipped off to the funeral home. apparently, the nurse who took the cadaver from the mother the night before didn't get it shipped to the morgue. instead, the stillborn was found in a closet and had been there for 27 hours so the parents had to give it a closed-casket funeral. the worst part of all is that the nurse responsible for this will probably get a slap on the wrist. that's, unfortunately, how things work in this, the mother ship, hospital.