It Was An Impulse Perm

Last night I had a dream that I was strapped to a table and J.J. Walker was eating fork fulls of my flesh. I was awake during this and he yelled 'Dy-no-myte!' after every bite. I guess I taste pretty good.

A Nun In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush

Never ever eat two bags of trail mix in one day. This is a huge mistake. My ass hasn't hurt this much since I was an altar boy.

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?!

Today is Burt Reynold's Day. How can this be? How did I not know this sooner? It's a crazy, mustachey world.

One Last Shalom to Betty

Flight of Ideas

I wish I had x-ray vision. I really do.